Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Wonderful.” Avenant rolled his eyes. “Letty’s killed the doctor. Now I’ll have to start all over with training another one to stand when I enter a room. It’ll take weeks.

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it if you have to with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.

I was born and raised in Denver, CO.

The fact that in the last 10 years only five of the 40 Turner Prize nominees have been painters tells you more about curators than about the state of painting today.

I'm idealistic so my life outlook is to never give up. Even if something seems absolutely impossible, I will run as hard as I can go.

Do not delay, Do not delay: the golden moments fly!

When I'm carried away, isn't it clear that my heart contradicts my mouth?

I wanted to be an artist, because it's a much better scam than being an architect.

He knew the precise psychological moment when to say nothing.

I have a list in my mind and in my heart of actors who have been extraordinarily kind, and Hugh Laurie is near the top.