Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.

It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?

You try not to have a favorite when you have sons or kids. Can't have a favorite. Can't let them know know if you do. I don't. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

The only way to consistently perform at your potential is to ask: Am I better than I was yesterday?

Young men think old men fools, old men know young men to be so.

I think the greatest threat to the privacy of Americans is the drone, and the use of the drone and the very few regulations that are on it today.

He did seem like a nice boy. Seeming and being are two different things.

Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.

We put things in order - God does the rest. Lay an iron bar east and west, it is not magnetized. Lay it north and south and it is.

I wouldn't let anyone say a bad word about Cheryl Cole.

You are either alive and proud or you are dead, and when you are dead, you can't care anyway.

Information wants to be free. Information also wants to be expensive.

Mystery has great charms for womanhood.