Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

In the long run we are all dead.

We have to invest in our kids, we have to invest in our communities, we have to create jobs. We have to make certain that kids are not dropping out of school and hanging out on street corners.

The educated man tries to repress the inferior one in himself, without realizing that by this he forces the latter to become revolutionary.

The man who loves his wife above all else on earth gains the freedom and power to pursue other noble, but lesser, loves.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Don't repackage your fear and try to sell it to me as indifference.

A Dark Night is a mental and emotional state of despair that arises when something is so painful that it blots out all other considerations and makes carrying on as usual out of the question.

There are staples to my show. I have to be conscious about switching things up because I know people who saw me last year will say, 'He did that last time.' But if certain things work, they work.

Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.

You can get everything money will buy without a lick of character, but you can't get any of the things money won't buy: happiness, joy, peace of mind, winning relationships, etc., without character.