Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

It's funny, how one can look back on a sorrow one thought one might well die of at the time, and know that one had not yet reckoned the tenth part of true grief.

Penetration of our mind is our goal, but in the beginning to set things in motion, there is no substitute for sweat.

Holy service in constant fellowship with God is heaven below

They say it's darkest before the dawn, but it also tend to be quietest, and the quiet lets you hear yourself better.

What baron or squire Or knight of the shire Lives half so well as a holy friar.

Don't believe that winning is really everything. It's more important to stand for something. If you don't stand for something, what do you win?

All things around, convulsed with violent thunder, seem to tremble, and the mighty walls of the capacious world appear at once to have started and burst asunder.

Today our problem is not making miracles, but managing them.

I don't know what I'm searching for. I haven't found it. I don't have a job, and I don't have anything lined up. I don't know what I'm looking for.

Everyone comes back. It makes no difference how far we wander, we always have our country, our land, in our souls and our minds.