Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

That's what America's all about, man, if it's about anything. You can choose your own name.

Literature suffers because writers give their books to colleagues who will then write glowing reviews or saccharine introductions.

There is no technique, there is just the way to do it.Now, are we going to measure or are we going to cook?

My paternal grandmother drove ambulances during the regional Blitz, in Birmingham.

Have you forgotten when those towers fell, we had neighbors still inside. And you say we shouldn't worry about Bin Laden, have you forgotten?

Well, I've been to Iraq twice now. I was in Baghdad in June and then north of Baghdad in November.

Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true.

The role of a leader is not to rule over other people, but to hold a space for their own genius.

I have now spent over a year trying to figure where in the workplace I belong.

We were almost getting used to playing without fans in the Champions League. Jokes aside though, I think help from our fans will be indispensable for such a big match.