Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?

Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.

Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

For the first time, I lived alone... in a luxury apartment on Sunset Strip. For a few days I loved the idea, but I got lonely and restless.

Deep inside, we're still the boys of autumn, that magic time of the year that once swept us onto America's fields.

I didn't hit the ball like I was 46. But I putted like I was 66.

The cliche is dead poetry.

People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty. I think it would be great.

I feel like I have reached the stage where I can no longer produce for my club, my manager, and my teammates.

The ends justifies the means.

Reducing children to a test score is the worst form of identity theft we could commit in schools.

I just put anything on my back. I take what I have on hand.