Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.

While looking into the mirror, you are saying to yourself: I am the best. Your own reflection makes you forget the only presence in the mirror.

I read them (articles TR wrote on his honeymoon) all over to Edith and her corrections and help were most valuable to me.

Difficulties should act as a tonic. They should spur us to greater exertion.

You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.

There is a time for everything and you do different things at different ages.

The best educated human being is the one who understands most about the life in which he is placed.

Instead of being satisfied to alleviate suffering, we shall labor hard and continually to prevent it.

I do have a mouth - I will say. I speak up when I see things I don't care for.

You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!

Everyone has their own weaknesses, for me, I believe it is my speed. I need to train more for that in order to be faster.