Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

A city man taking the picture of a donkey and behaving like he has seen an alien creature must absolutely be photographed as he is certainly more interesting than the donkey itself!

While you are so busy trying to make yourself humble, many are persistently and quietly promoting themselves.

Over there, in Europe, all was shame and anger. Here it was exile or solitude, among these languid and agitated madmen who danced in order to die.

All the lyrical rappers I know is broke.

Having a very complicated life, or a lot of problems, or a lot of flaws, is always great to play.

If mourning is denied outlet, the result will be suffering.

I haven't played a single game all year. This is bullshit!

All these types of love come out of duty, respect, and gratitude. Most of them, as the women in my county know, are sources of sadness, rupture, and brutality.

I mean, we're going to probably debate the Iraq war for at least as long as I'm alive.

The greatest tragedy of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is that everyone knows how it will end. We will divide up the region.