Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

When you think it’s there it will be there. When you think it’s not there still it will be there.It is like a mirror which needs another mirror to see it. It is mind.

We started out as five people whose lives just happened to cross paths. By the end of the summer we were family

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life.

My most memorable science fiction experience was Star Wars and seeing R2D2 and C3PO. I fell in love with those robots.

There's ups and downs with boxing, layoffs are part of the sport and they can either help or hurt a guy.

A number of foreign policy experts distanced themselves from Donald Trump, not Michael Flynn.

My dad has always been the bohemian.

For my hustlers, here's some motivation: He who has begun is half done.

"Terrorism" is what we call the violence of the weak, and we condemn it; "war" is what we call the violence of the strong, and we glorify it.

Shine out fair sun, till I have bought a glass, That I may see my shadow as I pass.