Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Delegation is not a binary thing. There are shades of grey between a dictatorship and an anarchy.

Intelligent martial arts is not getting in battles and winning them. Intelligent martial arts is avoiding battles because battles use up energy, and you can get hurt no matter who you are.

Life is always uncertain, and common prudence dictates to every man the necessity of settling his temporal concerns, while it is in his power, and while the mind is calm and undisturbed.

Junkies are liars. They have to be professionally.

Every director is so different from every other one.

The great difference between those who succeed and those who fail does not consist in the amount of work done by each but in the amount of intelligent work.

There is nothing on earth that you can not have once you have mentally accepted the fact that you can have it.

Humans are not ideally set up to understand logic; they are ideally set up to understand stories.

Your words become the mirror in which others see themselves.

I live a pretty simple life.