Dog’ is ‘God’ spelled backward; you know that. That’s why you’re here, to help the nuns do God’s work.

You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.

That's the lesson of the dogs, that it's important to both live in the moment and then go on to the next wonderful thing.

Because failure isn't an option if success is just a matter of more effort.

Dogs have important jobs, like barking when the doorbell rings, but cats have no function in a house whatsoever.

Some people just don’t appreciate having a dog around. It’s sad to think there are people like that. I knew Gloria was that way—maybe that’s why she could never be truly happy.

Kansas is a piece of real estate that completely disproves the theory of roundness as a quality of the planet earth.

Apparently there are three levels of brain activity. Level 1 is the lowest level - the amount of concentration required to, say, delete emails or serve in congress.

I want to know what good is a web search engine that returns 324,909,188 'matches' to my key word. That's like saying, "Good news, we've located the product you're looking for. It's on Earth.

Not everything that can be counted counts.Not everything that counts can be counted.

This whole kissing process was turning out to be far more complicated and stressful than I'd thought it would be.

The virtues of free enterprise can become distorted by greed & delusion.

Also, serial killers, child killers, they’re hot, they’re the new cool kids, the new vampires, the new zombies, everybody’s favourite spook monster.

That is the mysterious thing about tragedy- it often strikes at the happiest moment.

Religion leaves no room for human complexity.

I could never accept findings based almost exclusively on mathematics. It ain't ignorance that causes all the trouble in this world. It's the things people know that ain't so.

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.

The child should live in an environment of beauty.

Age looks with anger on the temerity of youth, and youth with contempt on the scrupulosity of age.

What would it take for you to go out with me?

I worry constantly and obsess over things, but I just don't let fear stand in the way of doing something that I really want to do.