Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.

absolute power is corrupting

Man is a creature of hope and invention, both of which belie the idea that things cannot be changed.

Your talk," I said, "is surely the handiwork of wisdom because not one word of it do I understand.

Three of my children are medical doctors; they know at least a hundred times as much about your body as my grandfather knew, but they don't know much more about soul than he did.

There is a special bond between twin soul mates - unconditional love, respect for each other, bringing out the best in each other, and highly compatible.

My father was strict and always taught me, no matter who it is, everybody is an uncle. To me, everybody was someone I respect like family. I grew up with that.

Every law of matter or the body, supposed to govern man,is rendered null and void by the law of Life, God.

I've never broken a bone in my life, or in my body.

He doesn’t anger easily. This is good. (Takeshi) Yes, I’m more of a simmer slowly until it boils over and ruins everything kind of man. (Acheron)