Don't accept your dog's admiration as conslusive evidence that your are wonderful.

The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie.

In the end, it's not what you do for your children but what you've taught them to do for themselves.

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another check-out line.

It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well.

You don’t know what you miss. A woman’s body is like whipped cream, so delicate and delicious it will melt in your mouth.

I do some of my best thinking while pulling weeds.

Someone who does not write books, who thinks a lot, and who lives in unsatisfying society will usually be a good letter- writer.

A molecular gastronomist is really just someone who explores the world of science and food.

Let me tell you, that's what taxation is - it's confiscation. It's your money, it's not the government's money. But the government makes you think that it all comes from them.

I use every opportunity, whether on my radio show or on television, to break stereotypes.

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

The cup that went down under has now come up again.

I want to be remembered for my dreams.