Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Bad habits have brought me this far: why change such a tried-and-true formula?

When success is uniform, the celebration becomes universal. Of which use is it to you to rejoice at the time your friend cries?

Lo! the poor Indian! whose untutor'd mind Sees God in clouds, or hears him in the wind; His soul proud Science never taught to stray Far as the solar walk or milky way.

Somehow in the public sector, if you start in the mailroom and spend your life getting promoted, it's unseemly.

The devil! what beastly things our memories insist on cherishing!

The cyberspace 'earnings' I get from Linux come in the format of having a Network of people that know me and trust me, and that I can depend on in return.

I loved Herman's Head. And it was a great experience

Those nations of artists, finding their own individualism, and kind of standing against the world: to me that's the ultimate nightmare. I want to get lost and diffused in the world.

It is the constant fault and inseparable evil quality of ambition, that it never looks behind it.