Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

A weakling is incapable of sincerity.

Its hard to die. Harder to live

The good is the enemy of the best.

Mobile notifications put people in a state of perpetual emergency interruption - similar to what 911 operators and air traffic controllers experienced back in the '70s and '80s.

I want you to show them the difference between what they think you are and what you can be.

One way you can get really close to God is to sin as hard as you can.

Our hour is marked, and no one can claim a moment of life beyond what fate has predestined.

None but the brave and beautiful can love.

But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.

The language of God is not English or Latin; the language of God is cellular and molecular.