Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

We degrade God too much, ascribing to him our ideas, in vexation at being unable to understand Him.

Every crisis offers you extra desired power.

Democrats have no agenda, no plan for the future, and no sense of leadership.

Patzer sees a check, gives a check.

In my particular case foreign policy happens to be my hobby, my consuming interest. I had spent decades studying it.

Money was made for the free-hearted and generous.

A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Dolls with no little girls around to mind them were sort of creepy under any conditions.

I like skiing and surfing with kids. They are the cutest little skiers out there, in their little outfits. I just want to eat 'em up!

Could the young but realize how soon they will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct while in the plastic state.