Don't buy the toys that make the noise!

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

History is unkind to those it abandons, and can be equally unkind to those who make it.

A cigarette is a breathing space. It makes a parenthesis. The time of a cigarette is a parenthesis, and if it is shared, you are both in that parenthesis. It's like a proscenium arch for a dialogue.

I believe America will always win the war. It's a superpower that no one can challenge. The real challenge is for the United States to win the peace.

This machine, the wheelchair, I can go all over the place, but you need a place without stairs to get in.

Marine Le Pen may want me dead, that's possible, but she must not count on my co-operation

One thing that previous practice doesn't always make perfect: Marriage.

Do what you must, And your friends will adjust.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Heart surgeons do not have the world's smallest egos: when you ask them to name the world's three leading practitioners, they never can remember the names of the other two.

Of particular importance to us is the recognition... that what we want is a Europe of nations, not a federal super-state.