Don't clap too hard - it's a very old building.

Royalty is the gold filling in a mouthful of decay

Writers don't need love; all they require is money.

Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.

I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.

They spend their time looking forward to the past.

A refined sort of butcher, a woman is.

We all of us waited for him to die. The family sent him a check every month, and hoped he'd get on with it quietly, without too much vulgar fuss.

Don't be afraid of being emotional. You won't die of it.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

Let's pretend that we're human beings and that we're actually alive.

Why inflict pain on oneself when so many others are ready to save us the trouble?

Much of the work of midlife is to tell the difference between those who are dealing with their issues through you and those who are really dealing with you.

I think Mozart's operas 'The Marriage of Figaro' and 'Don Giovanni' are the two most perfect ever written. The music is magical.

The Irish and British, they love satire, its a large part of the culture.

All beliefs will crash somewhere. Only reality will sustain itself.

Never complain about growing old... Some never have the privilege.

I've always thought of this city as Disneyland for adults. ... There's no danger of Las Vegas expiring from an excess of good taste.

That same manne, that renneth awaye,Maye again fight, an other daye.

They say you have to be good to be lucky, but I think you have to be lucky to be good.

I will love myself as long as I never make a mistake.