Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Ignorance is no reason with a fool for holding his tongue.

Good things happen when you meet strangers.

The fit is my main focus, I want the fit to be great and that's the focal point for me.

Did you stop because it was good enough, or could have done more - but then maybe ruined it too? Sometimes you finish because you've gone too far.

I can't die now, I have so much work to do.

Ritual murder is referred to in court files which are located in Rome. There are pictures in it which show that in 23 cases, the Church itself has dealt with the question.

Usury lives in the pores of production, as it were, just as the gods of Epicurus lived in the space between the worlds.

If anyone accuses me of lying, I'll simply say I'm not lying, which is just an extension of the overall lying strategy.

A society that devours its own young deserves no automatic or unquestioning allegiance.

In the end, it’s all a question of balance.