Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

Light means knowledge in the Greek language it can also be translated as illumination, knowledge, insight, understanding and wisdom

When I have a camera in my hand, I know no fear.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

The Law and the Lawgiver are one.

Cynical is a fool's word for realist.

I definitely had a top-notch education.

You are holding in your hands not only a book of readings and instruction for the journey, but one monastic's heart of love held out to a searching world.

There's something beautiful about working in the one place in the world where the world is present, like United Nations. Otherwise, one would have to go to each of these countries to negotiate.

The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun.

God's grace and forgiveness, while free to the recipient, are always costly for the giver.