Don't drink too much." "When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop." "I'll have to get a shorter name." "I'll have to forget how to spell it.

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.

Boys should abstain from all use of wine until their eighteenth year for it is wrong to add fire to fire.

Young players need freedom of expression to develop as creative players... they should be encouraged to try skills without fear of failure.

Though I am fascinated by knowledge, I am even more fascinated by wisdom.

Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. Oh! The places you'll go!

Recognize meat for what it really is: the antibiotic- and pesticide-laden corpse of a tortured animal.

Everybody's heart is open, you know, when they have recently escaped from severe pain, or are recovering the blessing of health.

I'm a Taurus. To the bone.

I’ve watched Jurassic Park twice in my life – once when I was six and the second time a couple of weeks ago. It inspired me to think about how gaps in time change our way of perceiving.

It is necessary for the perfection of human society that there should be men who devote their lives to contemplation.

Time is the only commodity we deal with which cannot be counterfeited, stolen or placed in inventory. Remember, time is irreplaceable.