Don't have any more secrets than you can keep yourself.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations.

I had a dream about you last night... you made a beard for yourself out of forty two bags of Twizzlers.

Now I am steel-set: I follow the call to the clear radiance and glow of the heights.

The thing that got me over the hump was accepting that I had to do whatever I could to stay in the game

[The] emperor of the West, the feeble and dissolute Valentinian, [had] reached his thirty-fifth year without attaining the age of reason or courage.

You shall not dwell in tombs made by the dead for the living.

There could never really be justice on stolen land.

There is no solution, for there is no problem.

I would often be a coward, but for the shame of it.

Take characters that Nicholson or De Niro play: they're not always tough