Don't indulge in gossip. ... People who throw mudballs always manage to end up getting a little on themselves.

The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie.

In the end, it's not what you do for your children but what you've taught them to do for themselves.

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another check-out line.

I thought I would be understood without words.

Intellectual capacity is the key to solving any complex problem.

Patriotism is racism for the modern era.

If Pride leads the Van, Beggary brings up the Rear.

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

People overthink flowers. They are afraid to mix and match, so they don't do anything!

People move into a house a block down the road. You know who's going in. You can see and you report them to the local police. Everybody's their own cop in a way. You got to do it.

They seem to have moved from total opposition to total subservience.

Tennis is beautiful when you can see tactics, when players don't just react but are able to act and think.

I wouldn't know a good script if it bit me in the face.