Don't let the bastards grind you down. I repeat this to myself but it conveys nothing. You might as well say, Don't let there be air; or Don't be. I suppose you could say that.

But nothing is more opaque than absolute transparency.

I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Canada was built on dead beavers.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly.

You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.

Nature is to zoos as God is to churches.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.

Wasn’t hitting bottom the thing you had to do to knock some sense into yourself? Wasn’t hitting bottom the thing that showed you which way was up?

My deep dark secret is that I was a nerd in school. I liked the theater. I liked to study. I wasn't very good at sports.

It is a law of nature that everybody plays a hole badly when playing through.

Artists recognize other artists as soon as the pencil begins to move.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Pinot noir is the ultimate wine to have at the table. It's a white wine masquerading as red...[while] chardonnay is a red masquerading as a white.

When I was small I didn't really know what i was doing. I just sang and it came out sounding pretty good. I just do it and it happens.

Being in the dark from sentence to sentence is what convinces me to go on.

There is no daily chore so trivial that it cannot be made important by skipping it two days running.

We are, always, reminded of the old saw: What would happen if the Soviet Union took over the Sahara Desert? Answer: Nothing for 50 years. After that there would be a shortage of sand.