Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

You keep me here. You can't live in a world where you don't know where and what I am doing. We inside each others souls.

In deep of suffering, I found my soul.

He who loved himself became great in himself, and he who loved others became great through his devotion, but he who loved God became greater than all.

Unless a man has trained himself for his chance the chance will only make him ridiculous.

I'm trying to be among the elite night after night, year after year. I just want to be the best ... and I love winning.

I am resolved that I will not through humility become the devil's attorney. I will endeavor to speak a good word for the truth.

I always emphasize the historic role of people of color in organizing and protesting to achieve justice.

As soon as I moved to Princeton in 1978, I became fascinated by local history, much of it Revolutionary War-era; and I became fascinated by the presidency of Woodrow Wilson at Princeton University.

The trick is, as I know it, is to care like hell and not give a damn at the same time.

Facebook is one way to be able to communicate in a quick way. I never hired a firm to send out pictures and such so I am lame that way. All I can say is how grateful I am for the fans I have.