Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Thank God who delivered us from harsh labour.

Liars don't lie to those who are innocent, they lie to those who know the truth

All the little devils are proud of their hell

In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that the rest is easy.

The greatest truths are the simplest and so are the greatest men.

I wish I had the power to flip my reality upside down like an hourglass, and that life wasn't a finite affair, but rather a perpetually recurring passage through a hole in time.

In one-act pieces there should be only rubbish - that is their strength.

I'm so used to Australian films not getting a release outside Australia.

God will judge my heart, Man will judge my actions.

I'm a firm believer that character is highly overrated. Character is a trick that we do with the audience's collusion.