Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

A belief is simply a thought that seems true to YOU.

Courage cannot be unveiled without reality

Feeling unique is no indication of uniqueness.

To respect a person is not possible without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge.

My mum was never strict. I was allowed to go out to clubs underage, watch TV, listen to whatever music I wanted to, and that made me not rebel. I have never touched a drug in my life.

Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others.

I'm everlastin, I can go on for days and days With rhyme displays that engrave deep as X-rays I can take a phrase that's rarely heard, FLIP IT Now it's a daily word

A wide range of social, collective phenomena can be made to emerge from the interactions of autonomous agents operating to simple local rules

You can't make someone feel good about themselves until you feel good about yourself.

There's room for role models who make mistakes.