Don't take anything for granite. That's what tombstones are made of.

When I'm alone, I'm in the company of the most interesting dog I know.

I'm flatulent in many languages.

Bravery and devotion to duty hath no greater reward than to see the cat get into trouble.

When time marches on, it steps on your nose and tail, and leaves boot prints down your back.

There's no better way to mess up a good cowdog than to let him discover that goofing off beats the heck out of hard work.

When you find a germ of truth, beware. Those germs can make you sick.

I've never been convinced that the sun would come up without me barking.

If you like Hank, you'll like Wilder Good, too.

Coffee is not as necessary to ministers of the reformed faith as to Catholic priests. The latter are not allowed to marry, and coffee is said to induce chastity.

The rich aren't happy so they try and get richer thinking it will make a difference. The poor aren't happy. They try and get rich thinking that will make a difference.

Now, my mom always said two wrongs don't make a right. But she never said anything about four wrongs, and that always left me confused.

Traversing a slow page, to come upon a lode of the pure shining metal is to exult inwardly for greedy hours.

The most important organ in the body as far as the stock market is concerned is the guts, not the head. Anyone can acquire the know-how for analyzing stocks.

Nothing works perfectly. The weather doesn't work perfectly. Because of sin in the world, nothing works perfectly. But in spite of that we can find comfort. We can find strength.

In general those parents have the most reverence who most deserve it; for he that lives well cannot be despised.

Denmark is sadly a hellish place if you happen to be a pig, but the brioche and fruits that tower on the table before me have me hastily attaching a feedbag.

One thing scientists have discovered is that often-praised children become more intelligent than often-blamed ones. There's a creative element in praise.

It's not the goods that matter. It's the theft itself. That's what counts.