Don't talk. Kill it."That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.

Don't drink too much.""When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.""I'll have to get a shorter name.""I'll have to forget how to spell it.

I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn't find the time to do it.

WHEN IT MATTERS THE MOST....DON'T PLEAD THE 5TH WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TESTIFYING ALL DAY!SPEAK UP!

With a pen in my hand I have successfully stormed bulwarks from which others armed with sword and excommunication have been repulsed.

Religion was nearly dead because there was no longer real belief in future life; but something was struggling to take its place - service - social service - the ants creed, the bees creed.

I don't know about you, but I call impromptu vomiting harm.

Sometimes I don't understand why I'm sitting here.

It's funny to be pigeonholed so late in life but there we are.

Coming from a large family makes you feel protected - you have friends and allies.

We think about sitting in a space and hearing some music by having our ears pointed forward towards the musicians sitting opposite us. I'm really not following that paradigm at all.

Do you ever find yourself climbing into an open grave during a bombing raid and wish you'd just stayed in bed?