Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

A leader is someone who figures out the way, then gets out of the way so others can lead.

A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong, and chooses to do wrong.

I wore bell bottoms in elementary school. Never wore elephant bells. Remember, this was middle Oklahoma in the '70s.

I write with a fountain pen. And then revise word by word and line by line so that the first draft of a scene is usually the tenth or so draft.

Really great products, like @nest, have #design baked in from the beginning instead of slapped on at the end.

If you fully awaken, you will not know yourself. Understand this, and you will understand all.

If you expect a bad lie for even one second, the gods will know it and give you a bad lie.

In the end, the Tribune lost touch with the world it was supposed to reach; it mattered passionately, but almost exclusively, to those who worked for it.

They said this is Vanity Fair, and I said, Oh, I already take the magazine. They said Annie Leibovitz wants to take your picture and I thought, How nice!

We won't know for a few years.