'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

It's my contention that each book creates its own structure and its own length. I've written three or four slim books. It may be that the next novel is a big one, but I don't know.

Sacred being is a beautiful soul.

Without love everything can be nothing. Does that make me want to love? No. For me, Ignorance is still better than martyrdom.

I know that there are millions of Americans who are content with their health care coverage - they like their plan and, most importantly, they value their relationship with their doctor.

I am the people the mob the crowd the mass. Do you know that all the great work of the world is done through me?

Blessed be he who invented sleep, a cloak that covers all a man's thoughts.

Love's action. It isn't talk and it never has been.

Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.

The Republicans are 90% corrupt, and the Democrats are 50% corrupt.