Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

A woman that is patient has the ability to endure provocation, pain, annoyance etc, with much calm and strength.

Everyone prays to his own god, that's why miracles happen to some and not to others

Just for a moment, amid all the bad stuff, this was a happy place again.

Walls don't fall without effort.

I'm concerned about the plight of children. But I'm not on a mission to get all the available orphans in the world adopted into Christian homes.

If we get into the mind-set where the good becomes the enemy of the best, we will get nothing.

I'm not a lukewarm European. I know that the German-French friendship is indispensable, no matter who the countries' leaders are.

I was a commercial artist when I left school, but luckily I became an actor. I've painted for many, many years. Now the last few years it's gotten more serious.

It sounds so trite, but my private life is mine.