Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

The dreams that were buried the deepest were the hardest to get rid of.

Progress in the most impoverished parts of our world enriches us all.

The hallmark of insecurity is bravado.

Taking risks, breaking the rules, and being a maverick have always been important but today they are more crucial than ever.

If I had to pick three of my favorite magazines, they would be 'Fast Company', 'Silicon India', and 'Smithsonian.'

There is no beginning. There is no end. There is only change.

I love working with great actors.

They need to show a bit more gut.

Advertising is our printed salesman. It may not be pretty, but it has to be true.