Don't write something that is your passion project because all it will do is get the passion stomped out of you.

The more people's money you take to do something, the more inputs you get.

Yes, I am complimented on my work in Kids in the Hall once or twice a week. Its a nice feeling.

I feel like I'm the most well-adjusted character on the show, even though I'm sure the other actors would tell you the same thing about their characters.

That's the other thing about working on movies, the commitment is years. That's one thing that's so frustrating about the process is that it goes on and on and on for years.

If you just want to be a writer, I don't care, for pitching, for writing dialogue, you should take an improvisation class. It's super important.

The first record I bought with my own money was Rio.

I'm always doing what I can to look for and just feel out funny things that are happening in the scene and improvise off of them.

People love that monkey torture.

If you're a studio writer, the funny better be on the page.

Writing studio movies is the best job in the world... it's awesome.

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Stupid kissing. Stupid roaming hands. Stupid boys.

If I were king, I would redress an abuse which cuts back, as it were, one half of human kind. I would have women participate in all human rights, especially those of the mind.

If frequency with which you cite an education credential does not decrease over the course of your life, you’re not accomplishing very much.

Man ought always to have something that he prefers to life; otherwise life itself will seem to him tiresome and void.

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.

Theories are just disposable tools in the production of knowledge

Aren't we living in a world where heedless men only desire decapitated women?

Indian people are relics; we do not exist in the present.

All good art is in the nature of a letter written to amuse a sick friend. Too much art, particularly in our time, is only a letter written to oneself.