Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart: but really with it, and in it.

You can’t dream, if you don’t sleep.

Big pharma has a strangle hold on the politicians. They're stepping over the corpses of the children of America to cash their checks.

I've always been pleased with the investments I've made with my friend Albert Frere and I regret not having followed him more, because I would have been a lot richer.

Like any well designed software product, Windows is designed, developed and tested as an integrated whole.

Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours.

history ... a sort of immortality turned upside down. Her life stretched backwards through ten centuries.

An urgent missive sent to Josephine Home in three days. Don't wash.

Ted Cruz just in a different league. He understands conservatism because he is.

I think it's one of those things about live performance - anything goes, anything can happen, and you have to just be ready and able to roll with the punches.