Donald Trump is finding out what I found out: when you run for office, you are not allowed to tell a joke.

If you were to come to Minnesota, I could have you locked up like that. That's power.

I love my country, not my government.

When I ran for governor of Minnesota, I only raised $300,000.

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people

Patriotism to your country is something that comes from your heart. It should be taught to you by your parents.

If you tell the truth, you don't need a long memory.

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people's business.

A vote is "wasted" when someone fails to vote their conscience.

A hero must be honorable, must have honor. And you can't have honor if you're a liar. There is no honor in lying.

There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag.

Bookshop Customer: 'Who wrote the bible?'Customer's friend: 'Jesus.

To impatient youth, all things took for ever and any kind of waiting was torture. Pg. 221

Have but few friends though many acquaintances.

We cannot, of course, disprove God, just as we can't disprove Thor, fairies, leprechauns and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The turkey - my number one thing that people don't get is take that sucker out of the refrigerator about three hours before you plan on cooking it.

I think the most well-adjusted people live in the present with an eye toward the future - I'm not among those.

To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.

Staying in with you is better than sticking things up my nose.

What I've learned about marriage: You need to have each other's back; you have to be a kind of team going through life.

Be good or don't get caught.