[Donald Trump] is saying that these stories of A-listers turning him down, "We're not asking 'em. I want the people at my inauguration." And I think that's probably true.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands.

Some people like living in black and white worlds. Let them stay there. Appreciate all the colors you see in your world though.

they don't serve champagne at pity parties

To be a good diarist one must have a little snouty sneaky mind.

Everybody comes to a point in their life when they want to quit. But it's what you do at that moment that determines who you are.

The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter how many women are assigned.

What I like about eyewear is that it can work with a lot of different looks. You can wear it with a Balenciaga dress, or something that is straight and very quirky.

The big question isn't whether you have problems; the all-important factor is your attitude toward problems. How you think of the problem is more important than the problem itself.

Your intention rules your life and determines the outcome.

Evil's just destructive? Then storms are evil, if it's that simple. And we have fire, and there there's hail. Underwriters lump it all under 'Acts of God.