Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.

Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?

Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?

If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.

Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

I've only got forever and forever is fine

Yes, stop your beliefs for a few moments now and then and Be-Life.

This is your chance. Are you going to cower and make excuses or are you going to do what you really want to do?

Because choices need time, the fulness of time, time being the horizontal axis of morality - you make a decision and then you wait and see, wait and see.

The heart of man is made to reconcile the most glaring contradictions.

Don't think that you can make up for it by working twice as hard tomorrow. If you have it within your power to work twice as hard, why aren't you doing it now?

Everything else can wait, agriculture can’t.

A strenuous soul hates cheap success.

I love Taxi Driver. When I saw it the first time, I didn't understand it, but I loved it because I thought the guy was really cool when he's talking to himself in the mirror.