Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

I married someone 30 years older than me, a doctor, a playboy who had a terrible Don Juan reputation.

The Master said, If out of the three hundred songs I had to take one phrase to cover all my teachings, I would say 'Let there be no evil in your thoughts.'

To move up to heavyweight to fight me is a jump too far, in my opinion.

Men will be just to men when they are kind to animals.

I have always been a great dreamer; in dreams I am more active than in my real life, and these shadows sapped me of health and energy.

Nothing beats a little cash in a bear market, of course, and the oldest form of cash is gold.

His calumny is not only the greatest benefit a rogue can confer on us, but the only service he will perform for nothing.

The life and death of a human being is so exquisitely calibrated as to automatically produce union with Spirit.

I find it interesting how we get carried away by the dogma a-la-mode.

Rocks do not have dreams and that's why they are condemned to stay in the same place! To move, you must have dreams!