Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Meditation is… a state that can best be described as deep dreamless sleep while awake.

She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, easily the most breathtaking girl in the room.

These are not vague inferences . . . but they are solid conclusions drawn from the natural and necessary progress of human affairs.

I hate when people make a really good product and then stop making it. I get annoyed.

People want to be liked by other people so they adopt other people's standards, but for me, my standard had always been true.

It must be owned, that the Graces do not seem to be natives of Great Britain; and I doubt, the best of us here have more of rough than polished diamond.

We need love - an awesome love grounded in the evolutionary potential for life on Earth - to become the organizing principle for human society.

If I was switched from whatever I'm doing, and I was, for some reason, made the chief football writer in any newspaper, then I'd retire. I'd go back to being a barber.

Myth: There's conflict between selfish free markets and a benevolent world of human sympathy.

If there's anything you're not happy about-in your relationships, in your health, in your career-make a decision right now about how you're going to change it immediately.