Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

There will come a respect and dignity for work when the people are being taught.

I've lost a lot of teeth and square yards of hide. But I've never lost my self-respect, and I've kept what I find in few men of my age - my enthusiasm.

Readers are made by readers - it is so obvious it is almost banal to say it.

No substantial famine has ever occurred in a democratic country - no matter how poor.

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

Fanatic is often the name given to people of action by people who are lazy.

If money comes along I will take it. I just want good scripts that try to make you think. I've been offered lots of money in the past but I just know that I would abuse it and get drunk.

I wonder why bereaved people even bother with mourning clothes when the grief itself provides such an unmistakable wardrobe.

How do you know you have won? When the energy is coming the other way and when your people are visibly growing individually and as a group.

No, she thought, one could say nothing to nobody. The urgency of the moment always missed its mark. Words fluttered sideways and struck the object inches too low.