Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I got calls and messages. I would rather not to have to worry about things like that. It is disappointing.

Time and tide will wait for no man, saith the adage. But all men have to wait for time and tide.

When I am upset about something, it gives me a stomachache. I have to address it right away so that I don't make myself sick.

My work doesn't have the same rules as, say, Andy [Warhol]'s work. But it's gathered together for the simple reason that we all worked with the images and objects around us.

Our minds are big enough to contemplate the cosmos but small enough to care about who wins an Oscar

A liberal public is interesting to have as an audience. It is for that very reason that corporations make such an effort to ally themselves with cultural institutions.

We create a product nobody needs but people want. You spend more for what you really want; some boring things you need: an ugly old car can wait, but if you have a new fashion item it cannot wait.

And if the big dog ain't me, then the house won't get guarded - period.

If you have an ideal world, your actions should follow suit. And that will sort of hopefully spread.

What can be happier than for a man, conscious of virtuous acts, and content with liberty, to despise all human affairs?