Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Each ray of light moves in the coordinate system 'at rest' with the definite, constant velocity V independent of whether this ray of light is emitted by a body at rest or a body in motion.

Dad thinks vengeance is the coolest thing about the Lord. That, and turning water into alcohol.

I have a recurring nightmare that I wake up in a gutter with nothing. I've had it all my life. That's why I work, I think.

The march of humanity, springing as it does from an infinite multitude of individual wills, is continuous.

Always, in your career and personal life, be evolving with technology.

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same.

If India is computer, Congress is its default program.

I can't deal with criticism very well. I've already got it from one angle. I don't need it from anything else.

Frogs eat Butterflies, Snakes eat Frogs, Hogs eat Snakes, Men eat Hogs.

What could be safer than the bus center with its lamps and wheels?