During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

We are even better looking on the small screen

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

I shave without using shaving cream.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

My father and mother. I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material.

Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's.

I ask myself why I do it [work]. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

A disastrous flaw in our design is that the heart always defies the brain.

There's only so long you can live in a fantasy world before the reality comes along to sharply put you back in your place.

We need to make sure that we never get too busy with life that we don’t have time to live.

In a race, what matters is not who started first, but who finished first.

There's no such thing as quitting. Just sometimes there's a longer pause between relapses.

If you want peace, understand war.

I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

A lot of executives act like their time is worth more than anyone else's. But I always respect an employee who guards his or her time, even from me.

I don't even know what an 'It' girl is. As far as I'm concerned, an 'It' girl is somebody who doesn't do anything except go to parties and get her photograph taken.

My parents split when I was 13. For a youngster, it's quite devastating. One minute you're all happy families, then everything changes.