During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

I'm the scratchy stuff on the side of the matchbox. But that's fine with me. I don't mind at all. Better to be a first-class matchbox than a second-class match.

I'd learned balance is internal

I really believe that with a little bit of information, kids can make a big difference.

But, as you have intimated, I am among those who would be very wary of any military action in the light of Saddam Hussein's willingness to allow the weapons inspectors to go in.

Religious unity can look like a carnival and religious liberty can look like a funeral.

Don't chew gum at an audition and wear really bad clothes. That doesn't work. You need to hear that! You need to hear practical advice.

I was talking cannibalism, not romance.

The hardest [part] is some of the misperceptions that are leveled against me as a person and against Muslim women.

It has been said that good prose should resemble the conversation of a well-bred man.

We shall never have a science of economics unless we learn to discern the operation of law even among the most perplexing complications and apparent interruptions.