EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I wish i could feed my soul just like i feed my hunger.

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.

I love music, especially classical like Verdi; it's a great way to relax.

I've got an image of me at the bottom of my garden sitting under my silver birch tree reading, while everyone else had gone somewhere exotic.

I want to be the next Gisele Bundchen . Everything she does, who she is, what she's done, she's just amazing.

You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.

He that is possessed with a prejudice is possessed with a devil, and one of the worst kinds of devils, for it shuts out the truth, and often leads to ruinous error.

Look with favor upon a bold beginning.

There is no magic in magic, it's all in the details.

The present is what slips by us while we're pondering the past and worrying about the future.