Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

God's grace is all I need.

It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

Doubtless there are times when controversy becomes a necessary evil. But let us remember that it is an evil.

Surely human affairs would be far happier if the power in men to be silent were the same as that to speak.

I'm not one of those people who thinks they simply deserve success. I have the drive to work.

The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular.

It's our landscape which defines our identity and it's what I'm most grateful for.

Weak men act to satisfy their needs, stronger men their duties.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

Sir, as a man advances in life, he gets what is better than admiration, - judgement, to estimate things at their true value.