Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Life is a dark stage on which you were born to shine.

Uncoincidentally, Instagram was also the first social-media platform to which the only sane reaction was hate.

The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty, and truth.

I can't quite see the point of poems like "Wittgenstein Goes for a Walk with A Hawk in Sherwood Forest." I know they're trying to be clever, but they're not.

My family doesn't understand trying to chase your dreams because they were all about survival.

My parents didn't have the opportunities that my wife and I have now, from a quality of life standpoint.

Ahhh, I love to love you baby, ahhh.

To walk across the street is a risk.

The government now has license to transfer property from those with fewer resources to those with more. The Founders cannot have intended this perverse result.

I played the best role I've ever seen on TV or film in the last five years. It was hugely gratifying.