Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future.

You will never learn what I am thinking. And those who boast most loudly that they know my thought, to such people I lie even more.

Ignorance is innocence - stupidity comes with experience

Bob has never written a bad song. Bob Dylan is a genius.

I do not think that this [the universe] can be explained only by natural causes, and are forced to impute to the wisdom and ingenuity of an intelligent.

I have tried to preserve in my relationship to the film the same closeness and intimacy that exists between a painter and his canvas.

The Executive should be able to repel and not to commence war.

As your career grows, the list of things that makes you happy should not become smaller, it should become bigger.

I don't disrespect the audience. I only sing very well-written, intelligent songs.

The enduring life is the one that begins once we awaken from this world. And it is in that awakening that we realize... It was only a dream