Economy is essential to all good art.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

The truth begins where trust ends.

Let's just say you may regret that second piece of cake.' Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was about to happen must be truly evil.

Flesh eating is unprovoked murder.

Misery travels free through the whole world!

The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.

Taxpayers should not be coerced into giving up their privacy rights just to file their taxes.

We are all born with a powerful herd instinct and it can force otherwise rational people to act in inexplicable ways.

Information is the manager's main tool, indeed the manager's capital, and it is he who must decide what information he needs and how to use it.

Pure love of God is our nature, but we are so much diverted, so much distracted by the externals that we've forgotten that it's our essence.

The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.